Something out of Nothing

Were never gonna see each other again after this year is over. Half of us will show up to the high school reunion. But most of us are gonna try and forget this dreaded year as soon as we step off of campus. I half assed all of the blog posts for this class but looking back at it I hate myself for doing it. I learned that there is a spot inside of me that loves to yell onto a peace of paper that no one will ever see. A part of me learned that its okay to cry, its okay to be unsure, or worried, confused, upside-down and bassackwards. But its never okay to stop going. Nels loved to talk about the scary reality of death. Honestly me too. Some of us are gonna die in the next 15-20 years and no ones even gonna know. “Hey I went to highschool with that kid”. Thats about it. As I hear the sound of the bell echoing through my head I think of the footsteps chattering down the hallway. The zipping sounds of backpacks and the Hoorays for the last day of school. But were grownups now. Little did you know we have to pay taxes, get jobs, and for most of us continue on with some more schooling. But if this post is any constellation to anyone, anyone at all, write it down, whatever it is, write it down. The thoughts, feelings, emotions, highs, lows and in betweens. I never knew how much not having a dad growing up would effect me until I started weighting about it. The word Dad is so foreign to me its not even in my vocabulary. I didn’t know that all those nights I spent laying awake crying was just because I wanted to know who he was. I don’t need him, never have and never will. I learned how to treat women with respect without him, I learned how to shave without him, and drive without him. I luckily was blessed enough to have the greatest women alive be my mother. The thought of ever trying to hurt her shreds me. I promised myself that if I ever met my real dad id give him the matching scar he gave my mom. But if theres one thing I’ve learned so far from not having a dad is that I don’t need a dad to be a great father. One day, when I have kids of my own, I’m gonna be the best damned father to ever walk this earth. Ive been really personal in this last post of mine. With that being said. Goodbye. Forever.